Something's in the Oven

The weekend started with my arm-warmers burning in the oven.

Five A.M. is a pretty early wake-up call. I had gotten most everything ready the night before; the team's supply of feed and drinks, my own food, my kit, a change of clothes, my bike, and all of my support gear & equipment. Still, Saturday morning at 5am there was plenty more to do as I bumbled around my apartment filling the team's water cooler, cooking my pancake breakfast, and preparing all of it to travel to Manhattan. I knew it would be chilly in Manhattan and my arm warmers hadn't completely dried from the night before. Doing the only sensible thing that would come to my foggy head I threw them on the top shelf of the oven on 500 degree broil and waited for them to dry. Between cooking pancakes and checking the status of my warmers, the status of my arm-warmers went somewhat neglected; and in turn, they came out of the oven somewhat crispy. That would set the tone of the weekend's races right there, somewhat crispy.

Brandon dribbled off the front at kilometer zero. The fog was still clearing from my head, but a combination of 20+ mph winds, pouring rain, and barely above freezing temps were making it quite the feat. His gap began to grow and I took first wheel to start reeling him in. Glancing back, I noticed Crosby had my wheel. Son-of-a-bitch. Brandon was a decoy to exhaust any chasers while Crosby would sit in and ride draft, pouncing when his competition was the weakest. In a matter of minutes, Patrick, a pro rider for Texas Roadhouse, attacked up to Brandon. Goddammit. That break would stick if a coherent chase didn't evolve in the next couple of minutes. Unfortunately no one felt like doing a lick of work, and obviously their egos were far from stressed, letting me do the bulk of it. Foolishly I began to content myself with pulling the group up to the break and inevitably letting Crosby get the best of me in my soon-to-be spent state. And that's just what happened. Within 40 meters of closing the gap, primarily of my own efforts, the Iowa guys promptly pussed out and Crosby attacked in the hills. My legs were less than 100% going in, and at this point they were somewhere near mutiny with the rest of my body.

Following the last split that saw Crosby off the front and most of the field off the back, it would be a Minnesota B rider, four or five Iowa dudes, and me left to finish out the race behind Brandon, Patrick, and Crosby. I've been in some pretty tough races, and besides the ego blow of being left behind, the weather conditions were quickly escalating this race to top spot as the worst in my career. I've never heard so many guys talking about crying during a race as I did that Saturday. We weren't just physically blown, Mother Nature had made damn sure we'd be emotionally bankrupt as well. To horrific effect, the numbness in my hands was beginning to dully creep up my forearms, my face was a mask of neutrality; I was beyond pain. Upon rounding turn one after the first lap the corner marshal notified us that the 76-mile race would be cut to 50-miles. Thank god. The best I could do for that last 25-miles was shut down emotionally. I didn't think about the race, I hardly talked to my packmates, I wasn't even really there. At the line I pipped the opposition for 4th. Whatever.

. . .

Lap one of the criterium told me I was still feeling the effects of Saturday.. and my bonk on Thursday, the week before. Moving from the front of the action I sunk back into last-wheel to catch draft before getting back in the mix. On lap 2, in the hair-pin, some puke crashed out taking half the field with him. From the back I had plenty of time to slow and slip around the outside and resume chase on the only two who escaped off the front.. Patrick and Crosby. Of course it was two of my toughest competitors, and they weren't about to be gentlemanly in light of the crash. They were putting the hammer down. Still, my legs were pretty sub-par and after carting some wheel-suckers around the course in pursuit of the two off the front, I relented.

After some time Patrick and Crosby caught those of us in the chase group and lapped us. The first I had seen of Brandon since lap one was us overtaking him. What I didn't know is that he was in pursuit of us and that Patrick and Crosby had pulled him the rest of the way to our group. We weren't absorbing him, I had missed his first attack past our group, he had caught us. Patrick, Crosby, and Brandon began rotating attacks, all of which were easily covered. After a spate of this we all decided it foolish to cover attacks coming from two riders who had lapped us and one whom we had lapped. We couldn't catch the two ahead and the one behind would probably never catch us. We let all three go.

After sprinting to seal up what I thought was a third place finish I was given the news that it was Brandon who had actually finished third. It was my turn to cook in the oven.